Angel

hey, peeps...

2003-11-05T23:47:06Z

I've been busy, don't feel like writting, haven't been around a comp in a while... ok, peace.

chillin' in the library, finished my report

2003-10-15T14:00:27Z

I am so tired. We stayed up late last night and had to get up early this morning. how stupid? I'm so tired. i'm glad that I didn't decide to work last night. i'd be so sore! I'm so glad. I really haven't much to talk about. My ENVS class is gonna be fun! patsy's in it. So, we get to see each other 4 days a week. woohoo!!! She rode in the truck last night and was like, "pimped out shit, gurl!" lol. She trips me out, just as I KNOW I trip her out! She's like, "I go away for less than a week and all this shit happens to you?!?!?!?! WTF?!?!?!? I'm never leaving again!" lol. I've had 2 boyfriends in the past week, lol. One of them was a major jerk and only qualified b/c he came off as sweet and he's HOTT and guess what else... Puerto Rican. He's a dirty leg, though. He's in 3rd ID..... what ever that means. i jsut know that it isn't a good thing to the rangers. To the 3rd IDs, though, Rangers suck. i know why, though. It's so hard to be a damn Ranger that they just decide to not like them
(some ARE vain about them bein there and all so that makes them seem like assholes, i undastand) and it seems so much easier than wanting to be one and striving to make it happen.... yeah, i finally made the connection that James wanted me make last Saturday! yay!!!! Man, I'm so grateful to Denise adn Wallace for gettin us together. He's absolutely wonderful to me! I want to introduce him to everyone! I even want to introduce him to Carlos.... Not a good idea, I know. That's why it's not gonna happen. i guess that goes back to how close we were and how he used to be my bestfriend.... ne way.... So, I'm trying to avoid that subject, not to be rude or make it appear as though I don't care abt him but to keep myself happy and content. If I don't think about him too much, then things will remain as great as they are. I've still got all these urges to call him adn talk to him..... back to what I was saying....

All the guys in the batallion told me that they never treat girls nicely, that they're always using them and being assholes and shit. That it's a weird thing to see a Ranger so nice to a girl. I told them that I understood and all that I would do the same thing if I were a guy. Then, the ones that I've had the chance to chill with and get to know, they all said that I'm like a "cool ass chick" and that I'm not like all the girls that they met. Especially with my jobs and school, that they've never seen a girl do so much shit and still come home and clean up everything without a complaint. See, when his friends come over, I just clean up what ever they leave behind. it's not a big deal, I don't complain, I just do. I wish I had been like this with Carlos, maybe that would have made him..... nvm. Ne way, so I helped clean up Wallace's room, too. Now all the guys are like, "Dude! your bitch is the shit!" to James. They've said some other shit about me but it's flattering b/c they're all assholes and that's the way they are. Like they tell me stuff that would ordinarily make me slap them but when they see that I don't grasp that it's a compliment, they explain themselves. I love it there! They're all fucking cool as hell and blush when they see me, if James isn't with me. I think it's cute as hell. ne way.... i havne't talked to Mr. NY since he's gotten back... I need to call and say what's up and make him go see me at work this weekend. that's what I need to do. I wanna go to sleep, lol. That's sad as hell. I've gotta work this weekend. This isn't gonna be fun. I've gotta do some shit for mr. Sherrod too. (The spanish teacher) damn. I guess that i'll do that later b/c i'm being lazy and don't want to fight with the computer to get it to format a disk. Man, my horoscope is suddenly right again.

You are entering a period in which your affective life won't be very important to you, Angel. On the other hand, the vibrations will be very favorable to you in your material life. You are thinking about jumping into a real estate investment that could be very fruitful. It's true that you will have to have a lot of energy to wrap up your projects. In terms of your health, you will have some digestive problems that are due in great part to stress related to recent investments that you have made...

yup... feelin the digestive part.... lol. Not really, my tummy does hurt, though. Wow, I haven't been at school this early in..... here? NEVER. WAIT, nope, NEVER. Well, James is supposed to have a good day today, according to his horoscope... Damn, i don't know his middle name. WTF? I don't know. WOW. I need to find out, like woah! I'll ask to look at his military id, lol. It's weird! i mean, it's like I know so much about him and yet, I don't! Woo....... EEk. Man, i wish I were getting my math class over with right now. i need my calculator and it's at home. I'm not gonna go searching for it rightnow b/c I wouldn't be back in time to go to class. DUDE!!! I'm gonna start looking in the papers for a good car. I'm gonna get one with my student loan stuff. That sounds cool, right? I mean, i could get the money and wait, too. James told me that I should wait and just use his truck until I have enough money to get the car that I really want. See..... If I put the money aside and wait until next semester starts (pell grant AND my other half of the student loan comes to me), then I'll have.... 1600+1312=2912 to buy a car with. plus the money that I'll have saved up on not paying ne insurance..... wow.... I'll be able to get a nice car. lol, he was talking about how in the military, guys get married on paper to boost up the amount of money that they make..... hmmm..... that they give the girl that they're 'married' to like, half of the increase...... that while they're over seas they get bookoo more for not being with they're families..... His Sgt. was lecturing him on not falling in love with me and NOT thinking about marrying me, lol. It's a trip, if you ask me. I think that it would be a trip. I think that I'd like that money! lol..... OMG!!! He overheard a conversation between my friend and I. He took me to dinner at the Bavarian House and met Bianca and Jesse and we all chilled out. When I left I told them that his truck was my truck and I bought it with my tips from work. They ran outside and I was talking to Bianca about James (who was in the truck with the window cracked and me unknowingly standing right on the other side of the truck talking to bianca who was at the door (means we weren't being quiet about it). She told me that I should just stay with him as long as he'll let me. I told her that I don't want to do that to him b/c he's a rea;;u great guy. Well, this chick nedds to uese a comp.

what I do is none of your business

2003-10-14T17:11:13Z

Well, I really have gotten to where this is not as important as it used to seem. I'm having fun, too. I mean, it's like life is a 24/7 party. yeah, I get what I want and it's great. i'm called a princess, it's my new name. I guess that's the way shit works. I get what ever I want.... Except to have him in my life..... I miss Carlos.

WOO FUCKIN HOO!!!!!!!!!

2003-10-13T19:59:32Z

This is a great time to sort out issues of love and romance. It could be that you have acted a bit too hastily in recent weeks. Now you have the opportunity to stand back and make an accurate assessment of these actions.

oh, how true.....

2003-10-10T21:01:44Z

Try not to assume anything today, for people are apt to surprise you in many ways. The intensity of things is likely to heat up and others are willing to go to many extremes in order to get their needs met. Don't sacrifice your own emotional well being in order to patch things up for someone else. Today's aggressive and intensely emotional behavior has been brought to you by the powerful trine between Pluto and the Moon.

wakey, wakey....

2003-10-10T13:08:59Z

Oh, I haven't gone to sleep yet.... and probably won't get to until tomorrow. Oh well.... These are the sacrifices that we make. I'm in a good mood. I guess life isn't so bad, afterall..... I have to take a test in math today..... I hope that the girls brought they're money for they're avon! If not... ::bang, bang:: J/K. I'm in a good mood. i think that it's the lack of sleep. I haven't been this happy in a while without Carlos or making myself happy..... This could be a good hting... IT IS. pease.

FREAKY!!!!

2003-10-05T23:48:11Z

Ok, this is the second game that I have watched with kevin. the first game I told him that his team would lose by one piont and something else. It happened. Then, today (game just ended) we watched another game and I said (even wrote it down with him and his dad watching me) that hey would lose by 2 points. It happened. I don't know how to explain how crazy it is but it's CRAZY!!!! B/c I made other predictions, not as big as a score, but they happened too!!!!! It's crazy man, just crazy!

chillin' at kenyan's

2003-10-05T22:35:13Z

I'm at kenyanand chasity's house. chillin'. yeah, I didn't get home until late last night. I had sucha good night but I was so tired and my feet hurt and i had a headache. I can't wait for tomorrow. I want to get off of my period so badly! I've been on it for a while now. It sucks. yeah, the hott Ney York guy is gonna be back tomorrow night. He's a really groovy dude. I don't really have that much to talk about. I had a good night last night and I guess that is all I have to say.

chillin' and waitin'

2003-10-05T03:29:00Z

If you wanna know if he loves you so it's in his kiss, that's where it is!

I believe that statement!!!!!!!!!!! I feel so much want and love emanating (right word?) from carlos when he kisses me that it's totally overwhelming! It's so thick and deep, you could drown yourself in the emotions that take me over when we kiss. Maybe that's why I always wanted to kiss him.... It's weird to not have that luxury ne more.... It hasn't been available for a LONG time, really..... It's just COMPLETELY shut off now. Maybe I should not write about this in here b/c ya know....... I don't want to talk abt that stuff on here for the world to see. Anyway..... Gary's on his way to get me, I was assuming that he'd be here by now but he was all the way on Macon rd earlier soo..... Yeah, he's really nice and head over heels for me. he's a cutie but not as hott as my New yorkan...... Yeah, things aren't easy to understand in my life and I'm the one that makes them that way. oh well. I miss carlos so much it hurts. I'm just sick of hearing, "get over him." to the point that I'm trying to. It's not really working but I could easily make it seem as though it is. i'm just sick of lies adn games

WOW!!!! he called to TALK?!?!?! HE CALLED!!!!!

2003-10-04T17:04:59Z

Umm, yah. Someone kinda important in my life called last night to TALK. He never wants to talk unless we're in person. He wanted to talk last night. he called to tell me that he's thinking about me and to see how I was. Someone else rarely ever called to tell me that he was thinking of me. He makes me feel so important, even though we're just friends.ne way... Also,to tell me that he's gonna be in the field until monday... boo. Oh well. I'll see if he wants to club next weekend, then. I'm gonna have so much fun tonight!!! I work! Then, I'm gonna go to a strip club with Chas and then.... I can't say. I'll say if it works. I can't wait!!! I wanna dance so much! pease. I'm going to the fair. what an exciting day/night planned. No one wants to let me have time to be depressed around here. I love them all! ATLEAST THEY CARE.

so the stupid cunt has reduced me to this...

2003-10-04T04:07:26Z

I have made my dj friends only. That means this: only carlos and maybe a couple of other ppl can read it. I'm annoyed, no longer angered, by her determination. Maybe I have given her what she wants, who cares? I just want her to shut up. Yet, I know how it is to want something that you can't have. I know.

crying isn't fun

2003-10-03T02:19:30Z

ya know, i thought it would be healthy to let my emotions run their own course, but they won't let me back in control. No, it's me that won't let myself in control of my emotions. I like to think about the past, the good stuff, not the shit that makes me glad it's over. I guess I wish that he were still that person, I know I wish I were still that person. I need more sleep, aparently, I chose the wrong time to wake up. My dreams aren't comming true, I but I can go to them.

how? how? how?

2003-10-02T19:28:30Z

sittin' here thinking about what I've heard in the past few days. Why is it that I hear about them now?!?!?!?!? I mean, THEM while WE were talking?!?!?!?! He's not the person that I ever thought him to be, that's obvious now. He is believing stuff about me that he knows I wouldn't do and then he's done THIS to me!!!!!!!! I want to cry. I want to scream, hit, kick, i want to drive off a cliff, in all honesty. Just to feel the rage escape my body. I need an outlet. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

hydro solves everything!

2003-10-01T17:19:01Z

Wow... Patsy adn I are chattin' it up. No, I'm not in class, just on the computer. I've got to go to the computer lab later for my english class but I doubt I'll have time to write. Anyway, life's confusing, ya know? I mean, it's great one second adn then you kinda start to think about stuff that you never want to think about. Like, I don't believe in love anymore and that's sad. i just stopped believing, didn't really think why or to do it for a reason, It just happened. I've stopped believing in it for a while now, just didn't want to admit it. I think that love's some fairytale that everyone goes through life wanting and searching for and feeling terrible if they don't find it. Well, take it from me, it doesn't exist. you can have great times with someone and feel something that you believe is love but it's possible to be taken away in a second. Sometimes, for some people, it happens without knowing it. They just wake up not wanting to be with the person that they are with any longer and suddenly looking at all the people that they could be with. Then, there's the "search for" love. That's when you sleep around with a lot of guys to have a few moments of what feels like being wanted, loved, and important in someone's life, but then you regret it b/c you realize that they used you for the same thing. You don't want to be together, though b/c it's not worth all the heartache and pain that will come with it. SO, you continue doing this with countless men/women adn it never seems to end. hmmmm.... what makes people do these things? I want to know why I have decided to do the things that I do. I want to get down to the bottom of it. nvm. I know about myself but I want to know what's up with others. damn, i should start taking hydro when I really wanna think. I mean, if a person is raped by a person of a certain ethnicity, it's possible that they will no longer feel attraction for that ethnicity. If they have been treated very badly, too, this reaction could be triggered. SO, what if they have gone through a relationship that they tried to give their all and it didn't work? WHat happens then? Do they become the type of person that I am? Do they try again with someone else? Is it possible that they will be turned against that ethnicity, as well? If they go through all the cultures that they can, when do they draw the line and realize that it isn't worth trying anymore? OH. I hit it. I just had a breakthrough. I've just tired of trying to find love that's returned. That's where my inbelief of it has sprung from. (did i just make up a word? i think so.) The emotions of being wanted and needed are found in family and friends, it's easier to be someone that doesn't want to have ties and can run around the world freely. Yet, at times, it feels awfully lonely and sad that you have no mate.... That's where my new theory comes from: If you have an abundance of love and happiness in your life without a mate, it is possible to MATE with a person, or people, of choice without having to put more restraint on yourself or that person. Hence, you have all the emotional and physical aspects of a relationship wihtout the actual relationship. If you still are not satisfied, read a damn book, ok?

So, what do you think? I'm opening the boards for opinions, only if you have a LJ, if you are a DJer and have somehow just gotten so stuck on my life and thoughts, please feel free to post on my dj. (if it will make you feel better, lol.)

Damn, I'm talkative. I guess that's what happens when you're bored, hungry, tired, and medicated. Or just when you're me. Yeah, I'll take the combination of the two. I went to Rudy's house last night and got Sean Paul's cd. I baked him cookies for it, lol. We sat there talking forever. I saw Liza earlier, too. Oh, and the night that the big fight happened, I saw Lily. WHAT is this? see and talk to everyone so that it haunts you for the rest of your life?!?!?! I don't know... OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I GET MY BRACES OFF IN 14 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, I had to get that out. I need my phone bill, lol. I need to get it so I can pay it. I have the money, I think. I have what I think that the bill will be, lol. Well, i don't know why it's not here yet. Oh well. I need to call but I don't feel like it, lol. sad. I just kinda feel like sittin here. I don't wanna eat, either, but I'm hungry. I'll do that later, too. I want to take a nap or read my book.... yet I don't want to get off of the computer, sad, really. I'm gettin off of this.

What a WONDERFUL Night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2003-09-30T13:15:20Z

Ok, so I had an absolutely wonderful night and I don't want to stop thinking about it. I'm gonna talk about something else instead: I'm supposed to be going to this party this weekend.... Can you say, "Gonna Get Drunk!" YUUUUUSSSS!!!! GGD, fucker! ok, I'm gonna go to work, I have to work 2 jobs today... I had written something really nasty but decided to take it back. I don't want to do that. That's one of the reasons why I didn't want to keep journals. So, I'll just monitor what I say. pease!

YUUUUUUUSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2003-09-29T23:10:41Z

I'M EXTREMELY HAPPY!!!!!!! I CAN'T WRITE WHY.... damn. I don't want to seem as though I'm TRYING to anger him..... I don't want to say too much, just that I don't want a war where we write/say bad stuff about each other. Of course, if I were like someone else, I'd believe all the shit that I heard about him calling me a bitch, slut, and saying that he hates me. yeah, I've been hearing all of that for months but I shut up and didn't question him. hmm.... like I said earlier... checkered flag's up, so it doesn't matter. HEY, I'M GOING ~~TO SEE~~..... I mean, I'M GOING SOMEWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just one more thought from me....

2003-09-29T21:36:57Z

Naughty Girl

I'm feelin sexy
I wanna hear you say my name boy
If you can reach me

You can feel my burning flame

I'm feelin kind of n-a-s-t-y
I might just take you home with me
Baby the minute i feel your energy
Your vibe's just taken over me
Start feelin so crazy babe
I feel the funk coming over me
I don't know what's gotten into me
The rhythm's got me feelin so crazy babe

Tonight I'll be your naughty girl
I'm callin all my girls
We're gonna turn this party out
I know you want my body
Tonight I'll be your naughty girl
I'm callin all my girls
I see you look me up and down
And I came to party

You're so sexy, tonight i am all yours boy
The way your body moves across the floor
You got me feelin n-a-s-t-y
I might just take you home with me

Baby the minute i feel your energy
The vibe's just taken over me
Start feelin so crazy babe
I feel the funk coming over me
I don't know what's gotten into me
The rhythm's got me feelin so crazy babe

Tonight I'll be your naughty girl
I'm callin all my girls
We're gonna turn this party out
I know you want my body
Tonight I'll be your naughty girl
I'm callin all my girls
I see you look me up and down
And I came to party

I love to love you baby
I love to love you baby
I love to love you baby

Tonight I'll be your naughty girl
I'm callin all my girls
We're gonna turn this party out
I know you want my body
Tonight I'll be your naughty girl
I'm callin all my girls
I see you look me up and down
And I came to party

New decision.....

2003-09-29T21:24:30Z

I'm done erasing for now. I'm going to keep this journal and my deadjournal activated. I would like to be able to write on here about how great or terrible life is. So...... But, you can't post comments, lol. Anyway, if you haven't heard the news, Someone and I aren't talking ne more. On to other things...... I'm waiting on a call. I wish that I could go into more detail but I can't. I might as well, though. All the other shit that's being said about me at Jordan. lol. THAT'S funny!!!!! I mean, who there knows what I do other than That Person? Who really knows shit about me? No one. SO, I think it's hilarious and shows how much someone honestly believes me. So what if you hear the same thing over and over from the same people? Who sees me? WHO there talks to me? no one. I'm glad that the true colors are out. THIS makes things so much easier. Checkered flag is out, race is over.
SO, I'm aparently in a good mood. Yus, I am. WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can say "YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSS!!!!!!!" ALL I WANT!!!!!!!!! that's such a great feeling. gonna go now. I got plans....

OH GOD SAVE ME FROM FAINTING !!!!!!!

2003-07-20T05:12:54Z

You want to shiver Will Turner's timbers. You like
guys who really know what they are doing with
their... swords. And you want them to look good
while they do it. What can we say? You like
them hot and wet. But who could blame you?

Whose booty would you most like to plunder from Pirates of the Caribbean?
brought to you by Quizilla

what a pic!!!! YUSSSS!!!

2003-07-17T17:25:46Z

Justin Timberlake- He respect's you and love you no
matter what

how's your perfect man (celebrity's)with pic.
brought to you by Quizilla

right... those were time consuming.

2003-07-17T04:11:51Z

LOVE is your chinese symbol!

What Chinese Symbol Are You?
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You're unsure whether you really want to smile or
not.You just curl your lips up at the corners a
bit and let that get you through your day.You
don't have all the answers,and you certainly
don't feel like going out to look for them.Stop
being so indecisive.

What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

ok, maybe I'll be able to fall asleep now.

HOW TRUE

2003-07-17T03:46:10Z

You may be tempted to give voice to some of your irritations about your current relationship. The planetary alignment indicates that these could come to the surface today, triggered by some minor incident that may cause you to see red. If you can count to ten, calm down, and talk your problems through more reasonably, you will have a much better chance of solving them.

yup.

2003-07-16T15:42:04Z

The Magus. The real world bores you as you know
that there is more that can be seen in the
metaphysical world. You dance through dreams,
Consider the cosmos and see eight sides to
every four sided object.

What is the Dominant Inner being within You?
brought to you by Quizilla

hmmm... when I'm not alone.

2003-07-16T15:34:57Z

You represent... happiness.
Boy, are you full of cheer or what...? You have a
sunny disposition and enjoy trying to spread
your happiness. You have a tendency to be a
little hyper, but you have the ability to make
your own fun no matter what.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

jewel makes me feel better

2003-07-16T06:51:16Z

i hear the clock, it's six a.m. / i feel so far from where i've been / got my eggs and my pancakes too / got my maple syrup, everything but you

break the yolks, make a smiley face / i kinda like it in my brand new place / i wipe the spots off of the mirror / don't leave the keys in the door / never put wet towels on the floor anymore 'cause

dreams last so long / even after you're gone / i know you love me / and soon you will see / you were meant for me / and i was meant for you

called my momma, she was out for a walk / consoled a cup of coffee but it didn't wanna talk / picked up a paper, it was more bad news / more hearts being broken or people being used

put on my coat in the pouring rain / saw a movie it just wasn't the same / 'cause it was happy and i was sad / it made me miss you oh so bad

dreams last so long / even after you're gone / i know you love me / and soon you will see / you were meant for me / and i was meant for you

go about my business, i'm doing fine / besides, what would i say if i had you on the line / same old story, not much to say / hearts are broken every day

brush my teeth and put the cap back on / i know you hate it when i leave the light on / i pick a book up / turn the sheets down / take a deep breath and a good look around

put on my pj's and hop into bed / i'm half alive but i feel mostly dead / i try and tell myself it'll be all right / i just shouldn't think anymore tonight

dreams last so long / even after you're gone / i know you love me / and soon you will see / you were meant for me / and i was meant for you